Decisions
Life is full of decisions. We have to make them on a daily basis. Some of them are good ones. Some of them are bad ones. Some of us struggle to make a simple decision, like which flavor coffee we want to drink. For others decisions are easier to make and they do not lose sleep over whether they made the right decision or not.
Recently, I have come to the realization that there are some major decisions that have to be made in my life. The first one was the decision to become healthier. This meant changing my lifestyle, beginning to diet, beginning to workout, and reflecting on my life and the changes that need to be made. Decisions that would make me happy again. Decisions that would reintroduce me to the southern lady with the rebel wild side that I loved about myself. Decisions that have the potential to make me extremely happy and less stressed, yet could destroy others around me.
As most of you know, I don't like confrontation. Now, don't get me wrong, I will take up for myself, my family, and my friends....my momma and daddy raised me to be an independent southern lady...which means I can smile and be sweet and love you to death, UNTIL you mess with me or mine. Then watch out. That being said, I absolutely hate to hurt someone. IN facet I will go out of my way to help others and care for them instead of seeing them hurt. So when I am faced with decisions that require me to potentially hurt myself or someone else, I shy away from making that decision. I think that is because of some of the hurt I have experienced over the years....broken engagement, being cheated on, being raped, losing my mother...things that have shaped me over the years. Am I still a strong independent southern lady? HELL YES!! But, life altering decisions that have the potential to hurt others around me still make me sick to my stomach when I am faced with having to make them....For the most part, I know that I eventually end up making the correct decision, and it makes me happy, but until then I chew over each side and worry about making the right one.
Ultimately, I have to do what is best for me. Emotionally, mentally, physically. I have to do right by me. And in a way that breaks my heart. But like my exercise, I just need to stick to it and push through the pain to get to the happiness on the other side.
Recently, I have come to the realization that there are some major decisions that have to be made in my life. The first one was the decision to become healthier. This meant changing my lifestyle, beginning to diet, beginning to workout, and reflecting on my life and the changes that need to be made. Decisions that would make me happy again. Decisions that would reintroduce me to the southern lady with the rebel wild side that I loved about myself. Decisions that have the potential to make me extremely happy and less stressed, yet could destroy others around me.
As most of you know, I don't like confrontation. Now, don't get me wrong, I will take up for myself, my family, and my friends....my momma and daddy raised me to be an independent southern lady...which means I can smile and be sweet and love you to death, UNTIL you mess with me or mine. Then watch out. That being said, I absolutely hate to hurt someone. IN facet I will go out of my way to help others and care for them instead of seeing them hurt. So when I am faced with decisions that require me to potentially hurt myself or someone else, I shy away from making that decision. I think that is because of some of the hurt I have experienced over the years....broken engagement, being cheated on, being raped, losing my mother...things that have shaped me over the years. Am I still a strong independent southern lady? HELL YES!! But, life altering decisions that have the potential to hurt others around me still make me sick to my stomach when I am faced with having to make them....For the most part, I know that I eventually end up making the correct decision, and it makes me happy, but until then I chew over each side and worry about making the right one.
Ultimately, I have to do what is best for me. Emotionally, mentally, physically. I have to do right by me. And in a way that breaks my heart. But like my exercise, I just need to stick to it and push through the pain to get to the happiness on the other side.
I know, my sister, that you will make the right decision. Take care of you. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteThank you sissy! I love you and miss you so very much! But I am happy and plan on being happier.
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