Friendship, Happiness, & Motivation
Another day on my #newmein2017 journey. Today I decided to use the recumbent bike and work on my legs. I biked 2 miles at a level 6, did 20 leg presses at 145lbs, 20 calf presses at 145 lbs, and 20 ab curls at 30 lbs. I know to some this may not seem like a lot. But considering where I have come from.....it is a great start for me. Today was even a not so good day, for undisclosed reasons, but I still went and worked out. Do I get tired? Yes! Do I get discouraged when I can't
manage to motivate others? Yes! But, am I happier? YES!! I have so much
more energy, and that motivates me even more. I have actually gotten to
the point that I, the former -lazy-sit on the couch and do nothing but
drink tons of soda-Tracy, like working out. I may get sweaty and out of
breath but I love the burn I feel in my muscles. I love switching
things up so my routine doesn't get boring.
I recently had a conversation with someone I consider a friend, a new friend, but a friend anyways. The conversation was about many things, but one thing that stood out was that no matter what happens, no matter what decisions I make on a day to day basis, this person was proud of me. This person supported me in my journey to be a healthier, happier, and fitter individual. This person wants me to get to the point in my life that I am no longer living in despair. I share my journey with everyone, because it is much easier to be held accountable when you have friends cheering you along the way and kicking you in the ass if you slack off and need it. Would it be better if I could afford a personal trainer to do that for me? Yes, it might, but by holding my self accountable, I have more intrinsic motivation to be better, do better, and live better.
Most of you that know me personally, know that there are times I can be very shy....results of having no self-esteem in high school and right after graduation. I make friends easy, but the true friends, the deep friendships, the ones that you really and truly open up and share your thoughts, dreams, insecurities, hopes, and struggles with, those are the ones that are few for me. Do I have a tendency to over analyze when something goes wrong in those relationships? Yes, because if everything is going great and then BOOM something happens to change that, I want to know was it me? What did I say? What did I do to change the situation. So, I treasure the deep friendships I have. It also means I get heartbroken......not as much anymore because I have a tough outer shell now, because of previous circumstances, but it is still there and sometimes I let things get under the shell that have the chance to hurt me.
What it comes down to is happiness. We all make our own choices as to whether we will be happy in our lives; in our marriages; in our jobs; in the decisions we ultimately make. Do our choices sometimes seem like the wrong choices to others? Most definitely. But, we are the ones that have to live with our decisions (unless they are horrific decisions--another blog topic sometime), we are the ones that are accountable for our lives. We can blame others. Take marriage for example... Over the years I have heard friends say they made this or that decision in their marriage for many reasons. Reasons like the kids, the bills, the retirement that the spouse would get in the divorce settlement, being scared of the reaction of their spouse if they file for divorce, Being scared of their in-laws and their retaliation, etc. All are valid reasons, I get it I really do, but if you are unhappy then YOU have to make the decision to change whatever is making you unhappy. Counseling is a great option....but what do you do if the other spouse refuses or doesn't seem like they really want to do it with you? That is another decision you have to make.....but if you cannot work out the differences, then why stay in that unhealthy situation. If you, like myself, had choices to make about your health, make those choices and make your self a better person. If you are reading this you are a friend and I love you. I care about you. I want you to be happy and I want us to continue to be friends. I am interested in my friends too.
My final parting thought is this: Be happy. Take time for yourself. Think long and hard about what interests you, what makes you happy, and instead of sitting back saying you can't make that change....I challenge you to find a way to make that change so you can be happy too.
I recently had a conversation with someone I consider a friend, a new friend, but a friend anyways. The conversation was about many things, but one thing that stood out was that no matter what happens, no matter what decisions I make on a day to day basis, this person was proud of me. This person supported me in my journey to be a healthier, happier, and fitter individual. This person wants me to get to the point in my life that I am no longer living in despair. I share my journey with everyone, because it is much easier to be held accountable when you have friends cheering you along the way and kicking you in the ass if you slack off and need it. Would it be better if I could afford a personal trainer to do that for me? Yes, it might, but by holding my self accountable, I have more intrinsic motivation to be better, do better, and live better.
Most of you that know me personally, know that there are times I can be very shy....results of having no self-esteem in high school and right after graduation. I make friends easy, but the true friends, the deep friendships, the ones that you really and truly open up and share your thoughts, dreams, insecurities, hopes, and struggles with, those are the ones that are few for me. Do I have a tendency to over analyze when something goes wrong in those relationships? Yes, because if everything is going great and then BOOM something happens to change that, I want to know was it me? What did I say? What did I do to change the situation. So, I treasure the deep friendships I have. It also means I get heartbroken......not as much anymore because I have a tough outer shell now, because of previous circumstances, but it is still there and sometimes I let things get under the shell that have the chance to hurt me.
What it comes down to is happiness. We all make our own choices as to whether we will be happy in our lives; in our marriages; in our jobs; in the decisions we ultimately make. Do our choices sometimes seem like the wrong choices to others? Most definitely. But, we are the ones that have to live with our decisions (unless they are horrific decisions--another blog topic sometime), we are the ones that are accountable for our lives. We can blame others. Take marriage for example... Over the years I have heard friends say they made this or that decision in their marriage for many reasons. Reasons like the kids, the bills, the retirement that the spouse would get in the divorce settlement, being scared of the reaction of their spouse if they file for divorce, Being scared of their in-laws and their retaliation, etc. All are valid reasons, I get it I really do, but if you are unhappy then YOU have to make the decision to change whatever is making you unhappy. Counseling is a great option....but what do you do if the other spouse refuses or doesn't seem like they really want to do it with you? That is another decision you have to make.....but if you cannot work out the differences, then why stay in that unhealthy situation. If you, like myself, had choices to make about your health, make those choices and make your self a better person. If you are reading this you are a friend and I love you. I care about you. I want you to be happy and I want us to continue to be friends. I am interested in my friends too.
My final parting thought is this: Be happy. Take time for yourself. Think long and hard about what interests you, what makes you happy, and instead of sitting back saying you can't make that change....I challenge you to find a way to make that change so you can be happy too.
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