the_disappearing_librarian

When you ask people how they picture a library in their minds, depending on the age of the person you are asking, most will say quiet, peaceful, solitude, happy.  Today's Library Media Centers are in fact quite the opposite, at least in high school. Today's high school Media Center are a bustling and sometimes chaotic center to the school.  A place for students to work on research papers & projects, check out books, work on group projects, or just a place to hang out when they have some free time.  They are literally the "hub" of the school. The place from which everything else disseminates.  In my three years of being a Media Center Specialist, I have witnessed many things happening in the Media Center.  From drawings on the tables, to students testing, to faculty appreciation luncheons, to evening meetings of the PTSO, Parents Advisory Committee, and Athletic Boosters.  I have seen students tutor each other, comfort each other, and even come in t...

I hate when old monsters in my life come back to haunt me time and time again.  No matter how far I go, and how much I accomplish as an adult, there are times that just a look or a word, or a perceived snub, takes me back to my time in school and even in my early 20's and how some would treat me.  No, I wasn't bullied....back then even bullying wasn't called bullying per say.  But, I was teased and made fun of.  I was always taller and bigger than the other girls.  Most of the boys, at least some of the more popular ones, definitely had a cruel streak....even if it wasn't a big streak. I can remember walking down the hallway in high school and the boys lined up at their lockers making sounds "Boom! Boom! Boom!" to the beat of my footsteps...."I feel an earthquake happening....oh wait!.....It's just Tracy!"  and them beating on their lockers as I walked by making it seem as if I was shaking the entire school.  Thank goodness for the guys and gal...

The old saying is "Letting go is hard to do"....and that is right on the money.  Whether it is letting go of hatred, or failed relationships, or old friendships where the two friends have grown apart and no longer share the same interests...it is still very hard for us as humans to let go.  Why? Why is it so hard to look at the other person and say to ourselves, "They are unhappy and I am making them that way. I need to let them go so they can discover their happiness again." We see the extreme results of refusing to let go all the time....usually on the news or on Dateline...one party decides that the only way to let go is to get rid of the other, usually through death.  And then we see the family and friends telling anyone and everyone that will listen, "I never thought they would do such a thing." "He/She was such a nice and friendly person that loved their family"...I am sure they were. But what is it that takes that love for their family and...

First, it has been quite a while since I last wrote a blogpost.  I decided once school was out for the summer that I would take the entire summer and work on getting my new house in order, downsizing more "stuff" I no longer needed, and start focusing on myself and making myself happier. Now that school is back in session, I can post a blog about how my summer went.  I love my new place.  It is perfect for me.  I have a one bedroom apartment with a detached garage in a brand new complex with lots of amenities (dog spa, sauna, steam room, concierge trash pickup, yoga,massages,)and all for about $600 less a month.  The area is nice and safe and the other tenants that I have met are super nice. I have been out to explore a little of Fredericksburg, but not nearly enough.....I have spent more time at the pool and just relaxing and reading and rediscovering some of my passions. I have found that I really don't need internet and cable (although I will be getting cab...

Even with movers hired, moving is exhausting. (and apparently dangerous for me). After having to move all my stuff into a storage unit or take to my friend's house, where I stayed once I moved out on the 31st of May, I am exhausted.  I had to be out of the old apartment on the 31st, but was staying there once Justin moved out on the 9th, but I couldn't pick up the keys to the new place until the 31st.  This meant I had to put my things in storage for a couple of days. I spent five days tromping up and down a flight of stairs, more than 50+ times each day, and my back, knees, and ankles are still feeling it. Then having to move it again from storage and my friend's house to the new place made it worse.  Yes, I hired a moving company...what a disaster:                   Quote---$594                   Time/Guys,/Truck---4 hrs/2 guys/1 truck           ...

Yes, stress makes me a slacker.  I was doing so great about my fitness and healthier lifestyle.  For three months it was amazing.  Then all the stress of seeing my marriage facade crack and crumble, and making the decision to separate from my husband, has lifted me up and placed me back down into my old habits and lifestyle. Well, the biggest hurdle is realizing that is what happened.  Now to change it.  I think once I get settled in next weekend, I will be able to quickly get back on the right track.  Its hard to find time to workout if you are trying to pack and get things moved out of the old place on a timeline.  I have to have everything out and the apartment cleaned no later than the 31st.  That way they will release us from our lease. I have to say that even through all of the stress I have continued to lose weight.  I am down a total of 30 pounds since 2/9/17.  My goal is 50 by the end of June.  I know I can do it. ...

Yes. You read the title of the blog post correctly, I am leaving my husband after almost ten years of marriage and being together almost eleven years.  We both have some issues we need to deal with, but I have been unhappy and trying to tell him about my feelings for almost five years now.  I can no longer live in the life I have been living. Hiding my fear, frustration, sadness, and anger at how I have become withdrawn, so no one would notice anything was wrong.  I was wrong in assuming that no one noticed anything different.  Everyone has noticed that  I have become a different person. I am no longer the happy go lucky, full of life, able to make friends, person that I was when I met my husband.  Systematically, I have been more and more isolated from my family and friends.  I have chipped away pieces of myself so much to fit the mold that I was expected to fit, that I had gotten to the point that I no longer recognized myself. This is my decisio...