October: From Bikefest fun to nerves and fear.

 October. It usually brings forth the thought of leaves, football, hoodie weather, bonfires, and pumpkin spice. For me it also means it’s time for the annual Colonial Beach Bike fest….this year my best friend Mindy Rice came down to visit and to experience Bike fest with me.  We had a blast...listening to great bands such as Blackfoot, Black Stone Cherry, Double Down, and Doc Marten and the Flannels. Bike fest started out amazing as we both got matching tattoos to honor our friendship and love for books and coffee. We also got to watch the American Freedom Riders ride into Colonial Beach to honor our veterans.  

Friday evening, when I was getting ready to head to High Tides on the Potomac & the Black Pearl Tiki Bar to meet Mindy and some friends in from MD, I found a lump in my left breast. I immediately thought of my cousin Pam, and her fight with metastatic breast cancer.  Of course, it was a Friday evening, so nothing I could do about it until Monday.....so I had a little too much liquid fun and honestly tried to drown the nerves and fear away.  Maybe not the best choice, but I knew I had my tribe around me to make sure I was doing ok.  I think that is why I freaked out so much when a local guy (no I do not know him) grabbed me Friday night and would not let me go right away....

Anyways, I went to the doctor on Monday and I am scheduled for a STAT mammogram and ultrasound this Saturday. During the day I have been able to keep busy at school to keep my mind off things and stay positive.....but at night, it really hits me. I go from being really positive to being really scared....I think its the waiting and what if's that are getting to me.  Please keep me in your prayers....I know I am a fighter, that I am strong, but sometimes our own minds get the best of us.